Chronic Unease

Chronic diseases can be difficult to truly understand, even for patients and doctors and therapists. I am two of those things, but I have never fully wrapped my head around how intractable a chronic illness can really get. There is never just one variable at play–you’re always juggling 10 plates, any one of which, were it to fall, could crash and break all the others.

There are elements of chronic illness in many of my paintings. Sometimes they are hidden, but other times they are more prominent. The images shown here have been created to portray some aspect of being chronically ill. I will say a word about the term “disability” here. It does not necessarily mean the same thing as “chronic illness,” but in my case and many other people’s. the terms do often overlap. I think it’s important to use both words when they apply, but it’s also important to remember that whatever words we use, they are ultimately just words. What are we really trying to say?

Where No Birds Sing (inner ear inflammation). Canvas panel.
The Eye Doctor. Canvas panel.
The Loading Dose. 11 x 14 canvas panel.
Sleepy sloth (detail). Canvas panel, I think from 2020 or so.
Exam Room 1. Canvas panel. I have created a lot of these based on pictures in a doctor’s office.
Exam Room 2. Canvas panel.
Dactylitis, enthesitis, oh my! Canvas panel. This is really how it feels, btw.
Monkey on my back. It’s just as creepy as this and it carries matches in addition to the knife. Canvas panel.
The Size of These Injections. 8×10 on paper.
Sacro-Iliac Joint Orchid in Space. Canvas panel.
Unseen butterfly. Canvas panel.
Tablets on a table. Canvas on panel.